What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I have a “non extradition” warrant out of a state that’s 30 minutes away from my state but I have court in my hometown. What will happen?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Wow! The changeover from President Biden to VP Kamala Harris as candidate could not have been more successful in just 2 days! It was as if they had been planning it. Could they have planned it? Are you excited by the positive Democratic response?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Doloremque harum est natus ipsum quasi at atque quam.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.